Starting With Me

28 Dec

So, I’ve had a bit of a wake-up call recently. I haven’t been giving everything my all. Life is zooming by and I have accomplished nothing significant that I’m really and truly proud of.  I need to inspire myself and live a little, instead of letting every opportunity slip through my hands.

I need to start my life now. I feel like everything before hand has been some easy little dream. You can watch amazing videos on youtube of people doing incredible things, and you can read stories about monumental occasions, but no video or picture is going to live your life for you. I need to stop looking through this window at everyone else who’s living their life they way they want to, and I’ve got to live my own. That doesn’t involve sitting in front of the computer and wasting my time away. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying myself, but I have to realize there’s more than one outlet for those types of things. Life exists in my world; I need to go find it. I must broaden my horizons, live a little, you know?

My teachers this year in a certain AP class have talked to us a lot about thinking for ourselves. In Moby Dick the chapter Lee Shore was all about not conforming to society; you need to cast yourself away from the shore and be whomever you would like to be.

I’m a kid. I’m not fully grown. I have no idea who I am, or who I want to be. But that’s okay.

People are always saying inspirational things like “Find yourself.” But in my case, there’s no one to find. I have to create myself. Some people have already decided what kind of person they are, or what they want to be when they grow up. Sometimes I feel like life forces us to move too fast, because I have to decide my major in the next 3 years. But this isn’t just about occupation. This is about myself as a whole. Do I want to be someone who lazes around and isn’t always reliable? No. I want to be the person who gives everything their all. The person who lives with ambition and passion.

Sorry if this was a little preachy or too ‘motivational speaker’. I originally just wrote this for myself, and I had a proper opening but that was more personal, so sorry if the beginning seems to just jump right in. I hope I’ll be able to stay true to myself and open my eyes.

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3 Responses to “Starting With Me”

  1. Thomas December 28, 2011 at 10:59 PM #

    I am so proud of you! I feel like this post won’t be like the one you wrote about procrastination (written and then ignored), I think you’re in the process of changing for the better.

    I also love how you concede certain things, like how there’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself and that you’re still a kid – because these things are true. But it’s important that we as healthy, able human beings take advantage of our lives and do something with them.

    Really, I agree with everything you’ve stated here. You don’t seem too motivational-speaker or preachy like, and even if you do, well, that’s fine. At some point we all need to do some soul-searching and find ourselves somehow, and if this is how you’re going to accomplish it, then that’s fine.

    I strongly, strongly encourage you to come back and read this post if you ever feel yourself straying from your path. In my opinion it’s one of the most powerful things you’ve written. Great work.

    PS: Reread the post and I also love your point about “creating yourself”. I’ve never thought of that before, I’m impressed.

  2. Will Akana January 26, 2012 at 11:33 AM #

    One of the best things you can do to figure out what you want to be, or how to create yourself is through MASSIVE exposure.

    Join clubs. Go to dances. Attend events. Meet tons of people. Audition for something. Play a sport. Do something you’ve never done before. High school is definitely the time to do it–I wish I did more before I graduated.

    You’ll know what I mean eventually.

    • lightningflash2 January 28, 2012 at 11:43 AM #

      Thanks for the advice! I’m going to be joining my first sport next year and I’ve joined some new things this year so it’s reassuring to hear that.

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