This post is going to address the passing of Cory Monteith and my feelings about it; I know the topic is very sensitive still so please read with your own discretion. This blog has always been about venting my own emotions, never just commenting on recent events to get more views, so as a huge fan of Glee this post is likely to be all over the place.
As others have said before over and over again, it just doesn’t feel real. I’ve read about his death and I’ve seen the phrase “rip cory” probably hundreds of times by now, but the lasting implications of what that means is just impossible for me to grasp right now. I’ve gotten used to thinking, oh, he’s dead, but does that mean that from a week from now, he’ll still be dead? A year from now, still dead. Fifty years from now, still forever known as 31 years old, never to have married or had kids or become an even bigger star. The fact that he will forever and always be trapped in this week is inconceivable right now. And as this is my first glimpse of grief, I guess this is just a normal phase. If I think about the finality and truth of the situation, I break down. Just like I did when I found out, while still in a cloud of my dazed shock and disbelief.
And that might be another thing people have trouble with. Why am I so devastated? Well to anyone who may have been teased or met confusion for sobbing over a celebrity, here’s the thing. It’s okay to be upset. Being sad for a week or even month may seem ‘reserved’ for people you actually know, but celebrities and idols are people who are loved and adored. Just because they are a celebrity and you are a fan doesn’t mean that there’s a rift in the universe where you aren’t both just humans. There has been an actual death concerning an actual person. There are losses and we all feel them. We feel for his family, his friends, and his girlfriend. We feel for his work, his passions, his achievements, his sense of lighthearted humor, and his love of life. Gleeks, we are a family and we have lost one of our own. It’s okay to just not be okay right now, because he’s not just an actor.
To any of my irl friends who didn’t know yet, I have been devastated by the news since I heard yesterday afternoon. I’ll probably be depressed for a couple of weeks at the least as the truth of it really sinks in, and yes I’ll feel this way because a celebrity died. He was young and he had a wonderful life full of opportunities to live. But now all I can hope is that where he is now is at least as wonderful as he is.