This post is going to address the passing of Cory Monteith and my feelings about it; I know the topic is very sensitive still so please read with your own discretion. This blog has always been about venting my own emotions, never just commenting on recent events to get more views, so as a huge fan of Glee this post is likely to be all over the place.
As others have said before over and over again, it just doesn’t feel real. I’ve read about his death and I’ve seen the phrase “rip cory” probably hundreds of times by now, but the lasting implications of what that means is just impossible for me to grasp right now. I’ve gotten used to thinking, oh, he’s dead, but does that mean that from a week from now, he’ll still be dead? A year from now, still dead. Fifty years from now, still forever known as 31 years old, never to have married or had kids or become an even bigger star. The fact that he will forever and always be trapped in this week is inconceivable right now. And as this is my first glimpse of grief, I guess this is just a normal phase. If I think about the finality and truth of the situation, I break down. Just like I did when I found out, while still in a cloud of my dazed shock and disbelief.
And that might be another thing people have trouble with. Why am I so devastated? Well to anyone who may have been teased or met confusion for sobbing over a celebrity, here’s the thing. It’s okay to be upset. Being sad for a week or even month may seem ‘reserved’ for people you actually know, but celebrities and idols are people who are loved and adored. Just because they are a celebrity and you are a fan doesn’t mean that there’s a rift in the universe where you aren’t both just humans. There has been an actual death concerning an actual person. There are losses and we all feel them. We feel for his family, his friends, and his girlfriend. We feel for his work, his passions, his achievements, his sense of lighthearted humor, and his love of life. Gleeks, we are a family and we have lost one of our own. It’s okay to just not be okay right now, because he’s not just an actor.
To any of my irl friends who didn’t know yet, I have been devastated by the news since I heard yesterday afternoon. I’ll probably be depressed for a couple of weeks at the least as the truth of it really sinks in, and yes I’ll feel this way because a celebrity died. He was young and he had a wonderful life full of opportunities to live. But now all I can hope is that where he is now is at least as wonderful as he is.
Hypocritical, I know. I AM a teenager. But seriously, sometimes my generation gets me very bothered. (For example, after the East coast earthquake EVERY persons status was a variation of “ahhh, earthquake!” It’s like, thank you, I really needed to hear that from each and every one of you to understand the seriousness >.>)
Anyways, what’s bothering me at the moment is how everyone liked the earthquake; everyone wants disaster to strike. They’re excited about it! One friend who I will not name: “I hope the hurricane destroys the school!”
Okay, no. There are so many problems with that. I get the idea; school gets delayed, vacation guys! Woohoo! But seriously, we’re not in elementary school. Start using your head. What if there were workers inside the building? Do you have any idea how much the repair for damages could cost? We live in one of the richest counties in the COUNTRY; we are lucky. If it got destroyed, they would find a way to still make us have an education, and they’d most likely build a much worse school to get us learning faster. Then we’d have a terrible school with no resources, zapped funds, and raised taxes for the county, even for your parents. Devastation isn’t fun and games.
Another friend: “We never have earthquakes or hurricanes though! I wish there were more! Isn’t it so exciting?” No, I answered her. Potential injuries, losses counting up to millions of dollars, and even deaths are exciting? Looking back, yes, the earthquake was exciting. But it was only exciting because there was barely any damage or injuries. We can’t be lucky like that every time; stop wishing potential danger on our heads just so you can say you’ve experienced a natural disaster!
Ending note: I can be stupid. I can be immature. And this blog post probably makes me sound like a prude to anyone I’ve addressed or many people my age. But even I can say that when nature’s pointing a gun at your head, playing Russian Roulette, grow up and stop smiling at it.
*WARNING: Spoilers for various books like Mockingjay, Forever, the Iron King, and Death Note*
I’ve always had a certain disbelief whenever I read a characters death in a book. Almost half of the time, it was just a close call and the character is suddenly back, arriving right at the height of a big moment. It adds suspense, but books (and movies) have done it so much that it’s ruined my ability to take a death seriously. I’m almost always convinced it was a trick or misunderstanding. In the book Forever (from the Mercy Falls series), I went a full chapter believing with full certainty that Cole St. Clair was not dead. I finally admitted that it could be possible when they went looking for his body; kind of a strange reaction since them not being able to find his body should reinforce the belief that he’s not dead. But I should have held on to my belief; Cole was revealed to be alive. I responded with relief AND excitement; perhaps a weird reaction for someone who’d known it all along.
The same happened in The Iron King; the Winter Prince Ash sacrificed himself for his love, Meghan. Except no one sees him die, since he tells Meghan to run while he fights back their enemies. Sure enough, Ash ends up being a prisoner to the enemy but fully alive. You can see why it’s hard to take any death seriously anymore. Which is a big problem, since now it hurts so much more when it isn’t a ploy. Instead of feeling the pain and grieving with the main character immediately after, we fill ourselves with disbelief and float through the next few chapters waiting to see when they will reveal themselves to be fine. When we slowly realize they’re actually dead, we have to cope with it during a random part of the story, after the other characters have already moved on.
A prime example of this is in Mockingjay, when Prim dies. That was more believable but still, there’s always a hope that she wasn’t caught in the bomb blast. We had to slowly realize that she was gone. And death note? I was COMPLETELY convinced that L was alive, he was just pulling a move on Light. I mean L, the greatest detective in the world, killed just like that? I had to ask my friend “Wait, he’s not really dead, right?” before I could even begin to believe it.
This just goes to show that “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is right; authors have used this manipulative writing technique too many times for me.
DEATHNOTEDEATHNOTEDEATHNOTE 😀 Via fanpop.com
I just took my very first AP test. I wasn’t sure how I would do, but let’s just say that my agenda had the word death in it for the day of the exam…
I’m not allowed to disclose any information about the test, but I think I did okay! I may have messed up one part of it, but I really think I can get a 5. And I reeeeally can’t wait to get my scores!!
So now that my life has become less stressful, hopefully I’ll be able to spend more time online (I’m cool). I still can’t believe I’m done with the biggest test for this remaining school year.
Bye for now, this was just a short update on why I’ve been gone longer than usual ^_^;
This has to be the most insignificant thing I’ve ever discussed.
Yesterday I took a nap. Normally I don’t take naps; I don’t really like them. You wake up and it’s suddenly dark outside, you’re completely disoriented, and very groggy. At least, that’s how I am whenever I take them. And yet for some reason yesterday, I was laying on my bed and reading a book when I just got kind of bored of it, so I turned the lights off and then I fell asleep. As soon as I woke up I took a shower, and it was practically 8 by then. But for some reason, I suddenly felt more productive. I went downstairs straightaway and got all my homework out. I got almost half of my Spanish homework done (although granted, it was only two pages of a workbook) and…well, that’s it. So conclusion? Naps kind of suck, because I couldn’t fall asleep again until 11:30 last night.
Short and sweet post? Maybe too short. Here’s a personal update: AP exam in 2 weeks, no studying has been done so far. Wish me luck, I’m doomed!