Yesterday my mom started yelling at me.
It was quite random, actually. She suddenly decided I needed to vacuum my room and out of nowhere, started yelling about how I do nothing all the time. She said I needed to clean my room and ranted about how she was doing all the work by moving my furniture. Then, she found the clothes my aunt gave me for Christmas and we both realized it was past the date to exchange them (they were too small). She then created a storm about how I was so non-attentive and remarked “Where is your mind?!”. When I was finally alone I thought furiously to myself ‘Does she think my life is some piece of cake? That high school is no big deal? Let alone at the academic standpoint, school is extremely strenuous. Does she think all of my good grades are falling out of the sky? She gives me no credit!’
She came in to my room later and started cleaning the vacuum. She started again, not really yelling but still talking sternly. I mentioned some of my previous thoughts with a shortened version and luckily, it seemed to calm her down a bit. She was back to a normal tone and explained how she needed to teach me all the necessary skills in life. She said it was wonderful that I was doing well in school, but that I still had a lot of free time and school can’t teach me everything. I need to be able to live on my own. See, if she hadn’t yelled at me in the first place and just said that I would have listened. >_>
That got me thinking. First off, let me say I only see my mom 3 days a week. I’m actually home alone a lot. She has an evening job so she’s never home when I’m awake. Sometimes in the morning she drops me to the bus stop, but that hardly counts. It’s pretty much as if she works in a different country 4 days a week and every night a PB&J sandwich magically appears in my fridge for my lunch the next day. So in total, I see her Saturday evenings, Sundays, and Monday afternoons.
When my mom said how she wanted to teach me necessary skills, I got the impression that she felt kind of desperate. I mean, she only sees me three days. So I think that in those three days, she feels the need to be a mother as much as possible. Maybe that’s why I get random outbursts like this. Maybe she feels guilty about not being here all the time so she tries a little too hard when she is here.
These are just some things that popped into my head. This blog post was just a way to get my feelings out, so if you stuck around and decided to read it then thank you.